THERE’S a new world of cruising and Virgin are making waves.
Ever the trendsetter, Richard Branson and his team have re-imagined everything that’s great about holidaying at sea— but without kids and the naff bits.
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Think cruising is for old people? Pfft, you’re SO wrong. An absolute turn-off for the party crowd, the under-50s and the Instagram generation?
Not anymore.
With the feel of a luxurious superyacht, a let-your-hair-down kinda vibe and a drag queen or two, Branson’s gorgeous new fleet of liners are floating the boat of cruise virgins everywhere.
Where else can you browse the world’s only record shop at sea, play Super Mario Bros in a classic arcade and lark about on swings and see-saws — exclusively for grown-ups.
Hell, you can even get a tattoo. Intrigued, we booked a week round the Med on the Valiant Lady, one of Virgin Voyages’ four adults-only mid-sized ships launched in 2020.
Standing a shapely 17 decks tall in the brand’s signature red and white with a hot mermaid on her hull, she’s a sassy sight.
After touching down in Barcelona from Glasgow, my partner Chris and I were whisked to the dock for our seven-day French Daze and Ibiza Nights voyage and an experience on the ocean like no other.
From this vibrant Catalonian city, the Valiant Lady says bonjour to multi-cultural Marseille in France and Riviera jewel Cannes before anchoring overnight in Majorcan hotspot Palma and dazzling party island Ibiza, then gliding back to Barcelona.
GO: VIRGIN CRUISING
GETTING/STAYING THERE: Barrhead Travel’s seven-day trip aboard the Valiant Lady, including direct flights from Glasgow to Barcelona on Saturday September 30, 2023 and a pre-voyage night in a hotel, is from £1,249pp. The offer includes a balcony room and an exclusive $900 per cabin spending money ($600 Bar Tab & $300 Sailor Loot). Valid on the French Daze & Ibiza Nights Voyage leaving Barcelona on October 1, 2023, including stop in Cannes.
MORE INFO: To book visit barrheadtravel.co.uk or call the team on 0330 094 8364.
Whether you’re a culture vulture or a beach lover, a clubber or a foodie, like an action-packed day or a carefree amble discovering beautiful places, this trip has it all.
As ‘Rock Star VIPs’, we had our own seamlessly speedy check-in point before swaggering to the ship to live the high life for a week.
Walking up the gangway, a crewmate in a cropped top and knee-high boots welcomes us with a cheery “Hello, sailor” and a playful shake of his hips. It makes us laugh.
In one of the most refreshing differences compared to many major cruise firms — there are no clones here. Gay, straight, inked, pierced . . . it’s whatever floats your boat and creates a vibe among us sailors that goes the same for us.
Virgin have also ripped up the rulebook on the dress code. There isn’t one. While most are ultra-casual by day, people up the ante at night but there are no formal evenings, so save on your luggage limit and leave those heavy cocktail dresses and tuxes at home.
There’s also no cheesy photo grabs with the captain or port announcements piped loudly into your cabin at 8am. We’re adults, we can check the app, thanks.
And in a welcome, major departure from the norm, all the restaurants, soft drinks, crew tips and even wi-fi are included up front in the price of your voyage.
Meanwhile, room keys are surfer-type bracelets which double as your ID and link to your cashless on-board account.
Clik here to view.
Clik here to view.
Valiant Lady also stands out from the crowd with her sleek and contemporary design.
Stylish cabins seamlessly blend laid-back luxury and functionality with balconies boasting — deep joy — a hammock, in scarlet red of course, in which to savour those ocean views.
Those wanting to push the boat out in a top suite can even bag their own terrace jacuzzi.
This high-end feel extends to every corner of the ship, where there’s so much on offer that the ports are almost a bonus.
There’s two pools, a spa, gym, coffee shop, boutiques and nightclub, as well as live music, DJs and contemporary dance performances in chic lounges.
Clik here to view.
Clik here to view.
Head to pub and music quizzes, yoga, a boyband dance class or innuendo-laden 80s aerobics, where the sweatbands and leg warmers will have you looking like something out of an Olivia Newton-John video.
A 255-metre red running track forms a halo at the top of the ship where sailors can run, stroll or strut their stuff. Book a private karaoke room and murder your favourite power ballad.
Head to dinner and a show (the Cirque de Soleil-esque Duel Reality is dazzling), bingo with The Diva drag queen or bounce along to a pyjama party. Yes, really. And it wouldn’t be a cruise liner without a casino.
Speaking of thrills, pack something red for the boat’s lively Scarlet Night. For one night only, the Valiant Lady is lit up — in red, of course — with surprises indoors and out.
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From pop-up circus performances and Mardi Gras-type parades, to interactive games, gigs and an as wild-as-you-like pool party, we had a ball — ending with a 4am full English in The Galley street food-style market to soak up the pina coladas.
Food is a massive part of any holiday, and the cuisine is incredible on the Valiant Lady.
Menus are curated by Michelin-starred chefs, and there are no big wasteful buffets, with intimate spaces instead of impersonal dining halls.
With six stylish restaurants and more than 20 dining options, you’re spoiled for choice. The Galley is the go-to spot for a quick bite or meal.
Grab a table and simply raise a little flag to say ahoy to your server when you’re ready to order fresh international flavours from poke bowls to burgers to Japanese ramen.
A trendy sushi bar churns out salmon, spicy tuna and crunchy tempura prawn rolls, while other faves include tacos, a first-rate sandwich and panini stall and a dessert station with tempting fruit and freshly-baked pastries and cakes.
There’s also a superb soup and salad counter and even homemade ice lollies.
Extra Virgin is the a la carte Italian and an absolute must-visit. This spectacular trattoria serves plates of fresh handmade pasta, seafood and antipasto platters loaded with cured meat and salty cheeses.
We also loved Razzle Dazzle, a veggie-conscious space offering fantastic brunches from healthy options to gluttonous treats.
Clik here to view.
Clik here to view.
Clik here to view.
Clik here to view.
The avocado toast came loaded with colourful extras like pickled red onion and was full of flavour, while the healthy supergrains bowl with salmon and veg was nourishing and fresh.
Valiant Lady also boasts Gunbae, the world’s first on-board Korean barbecue.
Diners sit round tables with a grill in the middle and meat, fish and veg selections are rustled up in front of you.
For the perfect laid-back spot to savour the views, check out The Dock House. Kick back and order delicious skewers of chicken, prawns and octopus and wash them down with a beer.
The Pizza Place is tremendous for a late-night slice while the Lick Me Till Ice Cream parlour (get it?) was a huge hit.
For mouth-watering steaks and seafood, rock up at The Wake. It’s like a classic chophouse but with a modern twist, grand staircase and amazing sea views.
Meanwhile, Mexican gem Pink Agave goes way beyond the usual Tex Mex offering, with sumptuous sharing plates including roasted duck, chicken enchiladas and seared shrimp.
And while the Valiant Lady was the star of the holiday, we shore had fun on dry land too.
In Cannes, we booked an excursion to classy Nice and Eze before heading by coach to Monaco, pausing on pole position on the famous Formula 1 racetrack. We also visited a vineyard in Palma, where the wine was so good we brought five bottles home.
Clik here to view.
Clik here to view.
And Ibiza is so much more than its famous party tag — it’s drop-dead gorgeous.
The ship’s overnight stop saw hundreds hit up the island’s legendary clubs or to Scots superstar DJ Calvin Harris’s Friday night set.
We drank in the magical panorama over jugs of sangria in a hilltop courtyard.
A Virgin voyage isn’t just cool. For us, it was a match Med in heaven.